Did you interview prospective care providers before choosing one whose philosophy of care is enough in line with yours that you feel comfortable (or better yet, excited) moving forward? Did you click with the first person you met? What if you shared with your chosen midwife or doctor what it was that helped you choose them?
Was it that they
Listened to your whole story and answered all of your questions?
Have a low cesarean rate, a high VBAC success rate, or some other meaningful statistic?
Were your friend’s doctor and she received respectful and kind care?
Cared for you through a difficult medical procedure and helped you feel safe?
Demonstrated cultural competence in some way that is meaningful to you?
Proactively mentioned empowering yourself by hiring a doula or taking a childbirth education course?
It is important for them to know what you care about.
It is good for them to have their strengths reflected back to them.
If there is an expectation that they need to clarify, you can offer the opportunity.
It is good for you and your team to be clear on why you like this person.
You could say this once or you could say it every time you see them. You have made a decision that will impact the rest of your pregnancy, your birth, and your postpartum experience in important ways. Give yourself credit for doing your research and give them credit for being the excellent care provider that you are placing your trust in. You and they deserve it!